I was speaking with a psychologist recently, who talked about how every single one of us must face the issue of self-reliance at some point in our lives. Often this confrontation happens due to an unforeseen event, like the early death of a parent, or perhaps when one first leaves home and goes out into the world, to college, or to get his/her first job.
It’s when you realize, when it comes right down to it, there is no backup, no one is going to rescue you from becoming a functioning, hopefully highly functioning adult, and no one can chart your life destiny but you. We do that one choice at a time.
Some individuals are protected from life’s vagaries for awhile longer—be in a marriage, when the other person carries the ball of providing for the family and protecting the other family members. As one man I know said once that there comes a day when you know that you, and only you, can ‘pull the wagon.’ These moments of realization, facing this truth, can be sobering, daunting, intimidating, and anxiety-producing.
If you’ve ever come to a moment like this, you know exactly what I mean. I’ve certainly faced such a moment when I knew that my marriage was over, and now I would be going on alone.
The good news about facing such a time in life is that on some level, you know you can make it. You now you can take care of yourself. And, incrementally, you make decisions and take action to become the emboldened you, the authentic you, the powerful you. And nothing is more satisfying than knowing, on a core level, that you can count on you—throughout the changes of life, be they economic, a process of aging, or relationships ending.
There is peace in that understanding…and strength…and hope. Even when the future seems uncertain. You know you will be there for you—you can, and will be able to, rely on yourself.
It’s a wonderful feeling. I hope you’ve experienced this already for yourself.